Sunday morning. I sit on the patio and inhale the last rays of sun before diving deep into the never-ending grey rain of the Northwest. I’m not ready for the winter - Seattle winter, to be specific.
Next weekend will be Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. Another ending and beginning. Lately, I’ve been noticing many things end in my life: old jars/tubes of creams, an old light bulb that served me for over a decade, old beliefs. They all had replacements.
The only things that don’t have replacements are books and movies that leave me feeling like a mourning orphan when they are over. Eventually, I will move on to other beautiful stories that will take me on new emotional and intellectual paths. But they will never replace each other.
Life moves in spirals, sometimes feeling we are back at the same point we have been before. But it’s not the same. We are not the same.
Last week, I had an unpleasant encounter that reminded me of some old ones. As if life repeats itself, no matter how much I try to move on, learn my lessons, and change. These types of encounters meet me again at every corner I turn.
My first question was, “What’s wrong with me?” I did everything I could to avoid it. And yet, it found a way to meet me. Again.
I spent a few days soul-searching and realized that while it was the same encounter, I was not the same person. We meet up the spiral levels. Now is an opportunity to handle the same situation differently, the way the person I’ve become would. Maybe I should thank these repeating encounters as they show me how much I’ve evolved.
In the desert, Moses wanted Rosh Hashanah to happen in the spring, when everything begins to bloom. But when the Israelites entered Israel, they adopted the local Gezer calendar, setting the Jewish New Year at the beginning of the moon cycle of the end of the old agricultural year.
Reaping the fruits of the passing year and preparing for sowing for the new one.
It would be nice to wake up to bloom season. But bloom season is not the beginning. It comes after long, hard work: clearing the past and preparing for the future.
The trees outside start changing colors, from bright summer green to yellow, orange, red, and brown, before shedding them completely. And I’m ready to shed what no longer serves me; take the time to rejuvenate my powers before I bloom again.
