For many people finding love is a
long complicated painful process. Some believe that you have to kiss many frogs
to find the one that turns into your prince/princess charming. That was not the
case for Angela (40) and Raffaele (41). Their love story is so
simple, and the simplicity of it is what makes their love story so special and
unique, even exciting. I’ve asked
Angela to share their story and her personal outlook on relationships with hope
that some of you might get inspired.
Angela and Raffaele grew
up in Italy, in a town called Sezze, 70km (42mi) south of Rome. They first met
in fourth grade in 1986 and married in 2001, at the age of 25. Right after
their wedding, Raffaele was hired by a known high-tech company and the couple
moved to Milan, where they lived for 11 years and had two children, now ages 13
and 6. Five years ago, due to
Raffaele’s job, the family relocated to the Seattle area, where Angela has
started her business Bellangela, where she teaches Italian cooking classes and
let her students experience authentic Italian lifestyle. The couple now expects their third child, the first to be born in the US.
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| Angela and Raffaele today |
How did you and Raffaele meet?
I first met Raffaele in 1986,
when he joined my class in fourth grade. At first I didn’t like him. I had a
good reason: our teacher brought us candies and gave him more than anyone else
because he hadn’t brought his own. When I noticed that, being the opinionated
girl that I was, I told the teacher, ”You teach us that ‘the law is equal for
everybody’. You can’t tell us this and then give him more candies.” That
special treatment made me unhappy with him. Now I don’t know if I didn’t like
him for that specific reason, or maybe because deep down I really did like him
and didn’t want to; young people hate before they love. Later that year our
class went on a field trip and our parents joined us. I don’t know why, but I went to his grandmother and told
her, ”I really like your grandson. I will marry him and we will have a lot of
children”. But it wasn’t until we were 16 when something deeper developed
between us. It was when he showed
up at my house to a brunch that my mother organized for all of my old friends
that I hadn’t met for years. It was a rainy day and Raffaele got all wet when
he rode his motorbike to my home.
I cannot explain it, but when I saw him with his wet black curly hair, I
was thinking to myself, ‘Oh my God. He is a man. A really good looking one
too.’ That was the moment when I realized that he was no longer the little kid
who got more candies than I did. The next day I wanted to call him, but
couldn’t do it myself. I asked my best friend Vania, who is also my cousin, to
come by my house and call him for me. Just as she was picking up the phone to
call, the phone rang. She answered, looked at me, and said, ”It’s him.“ So for
the record – he called me first. He invited me the next day to come to his
house to do homework together. The next day was February 7th, 1994
and we have been together ever since.
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| Angela, sitting second from left, and Raffaele, standing third from left, in 4th grade |
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| Angela and Raffaele on his 18th birthday |
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| Angela and Raffaele as a young couple in Europe |
What would you tell people who fall in love at a young age and then
decide to take a break and try relationships with other people?
Maybe they didn’t find the one.
When you find the one, you are sure about that person and you don’t want to try
anyone else. I had feelings for other kids, but it wasn’t nearly as strong as
what I felt for Raffaele. Even now, with his belly and his hair gone (I’m not
the same as I was either!), I still think that he is handsome and the best one for
me.
How do you know that you have met the right person?
You don’t know, you just feel.
Trust your guts and feel the butterflies. That’s how it was for me. True love
is when you feel that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person,
when you are willing to fight for them, and make them the best person for you.
How do you make someone the best person for you?
Compromise, be sincere, talk,
communicate, and ask for what you need from him/her. Work as a team and make
sure that each carries half of the responsibility of the house, children, and
family.
What is your secret for a long successful marriage?
Work like a team. Make sure that
you want the same things in life, don’t be afraid of adventures, and be willing
to support each other.
What is your recommendation to keep love going after so many years of
marriage?
Dedicate some time to be a
couple. It’s great to be a close
family, but a couple needs time to just be a couple: be intimate, go out for
dinner or a movie. Sitting together for dinner with the whole family, hopefully
with a nice tablecloth, also helps a lot to strengthen the team feeling.
What is your relationship advice for men?
Trust your woman and ask her to
guide you how to make her happy.
When a wife is happy the family is even happier.
What is your relationship advice for women?
You are what you feel. Take care
of yourself and do what makes you feel good, even something simple like putting
on makeup. When you feel good about yourself, your husband and other people can
feel that too.
